So a new year is here with new responsibilities and new... uh, stuff. And sure, it's been here for a whole month now but, yeah. Definitely here now. Can almost taste it. Ayup, sure is a solid-looking new year. 2010. Look at that.
For some reason, it's getting harder and harder to smile at my troubles. That feeling has been with me for a long time now, like I'm getting restless, like I'm getting bored. So much energy is slipping away, and I'm not really sure why. Where does it go? It's supposed to be indestructible.
In my mind, if you can't love your troubles you can't love anything at all. Life without struggle is life without meaning. I don't want to end my troubles, but I have a feeling perhaps I want to exchange them. Question is, for what?
It seems I have nowhere to go but up, but that must be an illusion.
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Perhaps you need to "get out" more? Move about, see new things, do new things? I know I need to, when things start feeling... well, old. Uninspiring. Do something stupid, fuck your life over (just a little bit!!). The optimal would be for something big and dramatic to happen, but those don't come on demand.
Take up something completely new.. like a sport or something.. a fighting sport. You'll be transfering your energy on to someone else. Share the energy!You'll also have all kinds of annoying pain to outweigh any other old boring problems. I guess this goes under D's 'Do something stupid' though.
Also to get amazingly clichèish, it's not the years in your life that matters, it's the life in your years...
*runs off to wash mouth after saying that*
It might help. The issue is that I want to love what I'm working with *right now*. I've always been too spoiled with loving my work, that when facing work I don't love, I get all confused.
Trust me, changing your troubles doesn't help. Somehow they always end up being the same troubles. And I'm with D on this, you need to get out more.
If you follow the exact same pattern for too long, never leaving your comfort zone and experiencing new things that will challenge you, the boring parts of your life will be more noticeable and start bothering you immensely.
Milk chocolate never have and never will taste as good as after I ate only 75%+ dark chocolate for two months, if you get what I mean by this silly metaphor. Sometimes you gotta stick your head out the window to realize why you love being indoors.
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