I had the oddest dream tonight. I dreamt about living a life, somewhere completely different from here with completely different people. It was with a friend who had a penchant for wearing trench coats, living among some sort of minority group, with different cares and different concerns. I had some sort of administrative job at a school, and I went to church on a weekly basis.
The details don't matter. The important part is that, when I woke up, I had to choke a scream, because it felt as though the life I'd seen in my dream was my real life. For a long time after I'd woken up (in the middle of the night) it felt like I was trapped in an illusion, and that what I'd seen in the dream was the real me, living my real life.
I still can't shake the feeling, and I can't really explain it. It made me feel like I'm a cheap copy, like I'm not the real me - like the real me is hundreds of miles away, leading a life that I've never even heard of. It wasn't more exciting or in any way better than what I have now - it could even be said to be more mundane - but somehow, that life is real and I know it.
This is deeply unsettling. I wonder if it means something. I sure hope not.
4 kommentarer:
Wow.
One could say only fantasy can be more real than reality, but that sounds so depressing.
Yeah. Yeah, it does.
Modified comment: I've had a similar dream where I was a romani boy forced to marry at a young age. It is a very vivid memory. The dream scared me a lot at that time.
Maybe we aren't dealing with the meaning of life anymore, rather the meaning of lives?
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