Food Quotes

A disclaimer: I'm really not all that terrible at living alone. But, during my two weeks of being by myself in the apartment, I have said some of the following wonderful lines to myself:

"Well, this is technically bread, and what I'm putting on it is technically cheese... so I have myself a cheese sandwich. Technically."

"Hm... I suppose milk isn't really food as such, but it still counts as lunch. I think."

"I could eat the paprika... but I'll need that for the chili. I could eat the beans, but I need those for the chili. I could eat some carrots... but I need those too for the chili. So what if I just boil crushed tomatoes? Wait... I need that for the chili too."

"Right, I can't use the mixer to mash the potatoes in a teflon pan. I'd better put them on a plate and mix them there."

"Wait, is this breakfast? Is it... lunch? When the hell did I wake up? If it is breakfast, how come it's chili?"