Isolation

So I had another dream, a very vivid dream, which made me think of Stephen King's "Secret Window" or if it's called "Secret Garden", I don't remember.

I dreamt that I was out with my grandmothers' brother, beyond Arvika, beyond Dalen, beyond Här slutar allmän väg, about as far out in Värmland as it is possible to venture, the middle of nowhere. I've been there something like once or twice before, but it's peculiar that the memory should be so real in my mind.

It was strange, because nothing really happened in the dream - I was just there, pondering what would happen to it after my relatives there die. Who wants to live there? Who wants to live as far away from the cities as that? The closest place where you can buy anything at all is a gas station, the closest community even resembling a city is Charlottenberg, four and a half kilometres away. Their home is in the middle of the forest, and I think they have about one neighbour that you can at all see from their house.

How do they survive like that, I thought? Two old, old people - my grandmother is in a service home, chrissake - and then it struck me, that people have been surviving like that for most of this country's existence. And they've been doing well.

I can't even begin to get into that frame of mind, though. I could say it would be nice to live a while like that to clear out your mind - get inspiration, write, draw, et cetera, since there's no internet there, no connection to the surrounding world save telephones and mail. Yes, that would be an interesting experience.

But what is it like to live that way? I don't think I'll ever know, and I think there are very, very few of our generation that would be able to survive that self-sufficiently. It's not like they run an active farm, like everyone else they go shopping about once a week, it's just that they can't pop down to the store in between if there's something missing. They can't even pop over to a neighbour save the one old guy who lives a little further than a stone's throw away. And they've been living like this for their whole lives, including almost 20 years of retirement. 20 years of not leaving the house except for once-a-week-shopping and special occasions.

I know a lot of people my age who have grown up relatively isolated, true. But you guys, correct me if I'm wrong, have always had other people around. I mean, at least you've gone to school. I don't know if you can identify with this old couple - it would be interesting if you say you can - but myself I know I could never get into that frame of mind. I'm not particularily oversocial, but I think my imagination would begin to turn the place into Salvador Dali's nightmares after a few months. There's nothing around, a mind-blowing amount of nothing, and - well - it blows my mind.

I find it fascinating. Don't you?