Mina kinesiskaglosor skrev lite dikter i dag. Så här ser de ut:
Blå
Med tanke på
Att anstränga sig:
Att så,
att söka,
att vara kvar -
förbli
blå.
Substans
tom
kylig.
Att vakna; att nyktra till
att be om hjälp-
Substans!
Att lyfta.
Höst
Höst.
Andas in.
Flod,
tvätta.
Mulåsna,
skydda.
Vinter.
Filt
Inget annat, endast
Att inte ha någon
filt.
torsdag 26 november 2009
torsdag 19 november 2009
Dream-Weaver
False-Speaker says his lies,
long and slow and pretty.
Tale-Teller sieves them out,
epic, grand or petty.
Yarn-Spinner sees their tail,
grabs it with his finger.
Dream-Weaver weaves them then,
stories that will linger.
Weaves a cloth of lies and dreams,
Weaves a web of stories,
Weaves a weave that has no seams,
Weaves a net of glories.
Casts it then upon your mind,
Subtle, fine and clever:
Beauty that you couldn't find,
Should you search forever.
long and slow and pretty.
Tale-Teller sieves them out,
epic, grand or petty.
Yarn-Spinner sees their tail,
grabs it with his finger.
Dream-Weaver weaves them then,
stories that will linger.
Weaves a cloth of lies and dreams,
Weaves a web of stories,
Weaves a weave that has no seams,
Weaves a net of glories.
Casts it then upon your mind,
Subtle, fine and clever:
Beauty that you couldn't find,
Should you search forever.
måndag 9 november 2009
Stolen Life
I had the oddest dream tonight. I dreamt about living a life, somewhere completely different from here with completely different people. It was with a friend who had a penchant for wearing trench coats, living among some sort of minority group, with different cares and different concerns. I had some sort of administrative job at a school, and I went to church on a weekly basis.
The details don't matter. The important part is that, when I woke up, I had to choke a scream, because it felt as though the life I'd seen in my dream was my real life. For a long time after I'd woken up (in the middle of the night) it felt like I was trapped in an illusion, and that what I'd seen in the dream was the real me, living my real life.
I still can't shake the feeling, and I can't really explain it. It made me feel like I'm a cheap copy, like I'm not the real me - like the real me is hundreds of miles away, leading a life that I've never even heard of. It wasn't more exciting or in any way better than what I have now - it could even be said to be more mundane - but somehow, that life is real and I know it.
This is deeply unsettling. I wonder if it means something. I sure hope not.
The details don't matter. The important part is that, when I woke up, I had to choke a scream, because it felt as though the life I'd seen in my dream was my real life. For a long time after I'd woken up (in the middle of the night) it felt like I was trapped in an illusion, and that what I'd seen in the dream was the real me, living my real life.
I still can't shake the feeling, and I can't really explain it. It made me feel like I'm a cheap copy, like I'm not the real me - like the real me is hundreds of miles away, leading a life that I've never even heard of. It wasn't more exciting or in any way better than what I have now - it could even be said to be more mundane - but somehow, that life is real and I know it.
This is deeply unsettling. I wonder if it means something. I sure hope not.
tisdag 27 oktober 2009
Mediocrity
I just un-signed myself from one of my courses again. That means, this term, I'll only study 25 points. It's unusual for me to step down from my high horses and do something like this, but in the interest of my sanity I think it best not to juggle too many courses at once.
So, no more IT for me this term - henceforth, it's all probability, Fourier analysis, and Chinese. Hopefully this will be a workload more easily balanced. I know one thing for sure - the weight in my stomach just lessened considerably. It feels very, very, very good.
In other news, I wish Google would stop reading my mind. It's starting to get on my nerves that it seems to telepathically open every function I'm trying to access without me noticing it.
So, no more IT for me this term - henceforth, it's all probability, Fourier analysis, and Chinese. Hopefully this will be a workload more easily balanced. I know one thing for sure - the weight in my stomach just lessened considerably. It feels very, very, very good.
In other news, I wish Google would stop reading my mind. It's starting to get on my nerves that it seems to telepathically open every function I'm trying to access without me noticing it.
A Wisdom of Words
The ancient Japanese Zen masters tell a short story;
A monk asked Joshu, “Does a dog have the Buddha nature?” Joshu retorted, “Mu!”
"Mu!" is an answer stating that the question is without meaning; it "unasks" the question, it states "the answer is not defined". It is the answer to "What is ten divided by zero?" and the answer to "Have you stopped beating your wife yet?" assuming you've never done so.
I now want to tell a similar, but not identical story - with a similar, but not identical meaning.
A monk asked Joshu, "Does a dog have the Buddha nature?" Joshu retorted, "Lol!"
It has always surprised me that so few philosophers see a value in the whimsical and the random, the comedic and the light-hearted. Just because something is funny, doesn't mean it's not true. It doesn't mean it's not important either. When the answer isn't defined, what you have is ridiculous.
A monk asked Joshu, “Does a dog have the Buddha nature?” Joshu retorted, “Mu!”
"Mu!" is an answer stating that the question is without meaning; it "unasks" the question, it states "the answer is not defined". It is the answer to "What is ten divided by zero?" and the answer to "Have you stopped beating your wife yet?" assuming you've never done so.
I now want to tell a similar, but not identical story - with a similar, but not identical meaning.
A monk asked Joshu, "Does a dog have the Buddha nature?" Joshu retorted, "Lol!"
It has always surprised me that so few philosophers see a value in the whimsical and the random, the comedic and the light-hearted. Just because something is funny, doesn't mean it's not true. It doesn't mean it's not important either. When the answer isn't defined, what you have is ridiculous.
tisdag 20 oktober 2009
Two down, one to go!
Programming and Probability have both been handled, and I think, passed. So now only remains the devilishly difficult transform methods, which I have until tomorrow.
I'm wishing a lot that we didn't get to bring a formula booklet, because then there would be more to remember and less to practically do, which would have been a lot easier. There are so many steps to the kind of problems we're supposed to solve that I tend to get dizzy and confused, and so far it's been a rarity that I've solved anything exactly right - most of the time I make small errors everywhere.
Today will be spent studying for most of the day I think.
I'm wishing a lot that we didn't get to bring a formula booklet, because then there would be more to remember and less to practically do, which would have been a lot easier. There are so many steps to the kind of problems we're supposed to solve that I tend to get dizzy and confused, and so far it's been a rarity that I've solved anything exactly right - most of the time I make small errors everywhere.
Today will be spent studying for most of the day I think.
fredag 16 oktober 2009
ALSO
SQUARE ENIX (is that pronounced eee-nix or EN-ix?) AND POPCAP.
The game is called Gyromancer.
Look it up.
The game is called Gyromancer.
Look it up.
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