Chop wood, carry water

"Before enlightenment: Chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment: Chop wood, carry water." - Zen proverb

So I went back home again. Many of you already know this, but some don't.

Here's the full story.

I went to the airport. I got on the plane, no problem, and I made it to China, no problem. I discovered that my language skills, while severely lacking, were enough for me to communicate with the taxi driver and to get to the university. I could even ask directions to the admissions office and get a dorm room in Chinese, with some help from an English-speaking student to help explain the documents I was signing.

In short, I was much more capable than I had expected. I got myself a dorm room, I enrolled, I had the schedule, I had everything fixed, and I was ready to move into my new room and unpack. So I opened my bag, and remembered that Sara had helped me pack, and I thought, "How would I get by without her? Oh- wait."

That was the first though. It was almost enough, but to be certain, I did some more thinking.

It eventually became clear to me that I had known all along what I wanted, but I had let my fears drown it out. Now, however, I wasn't afraid. I had faced my fear of going to China, and I knew - without a doubt - that I could do it. Which made me realize that the reason I didn't want to go wasn't only that I was afraid, it was also that I simply didn't want to.

So I went back home again. Now, it's the normal humdrum life for me again. Well, almost.

Chop wood, carry water.