I haven't written here for a while now, and I have a lot to speak of, which I guess I could speak in person, but I shall write it down. For shits and giggles, so to speak.
First thought that comes to mind today, is the following:
Why is the agreement that virtually all men watch porn, such a silent agreement? Whenever I've talked about it with my male friends, it all bogs down to implying "I have, indeed, at some point, looked at porn on the Internet." Everyone knows everyone does it, so why is it never talked about? Why do we still only speak of it in innuendo, when it comes to our own pornographic habits?
(on a sidenote - do all women also watch or read porn, and just talk about it even less? somehow i doubt that is the case, but i don't know why)
Second thought that comes to mind:
The Iceye wrote about "What do people think when they see me?" - a question which made me think of my situation in school. For some hidden motive I cannot understand myself, I have tried very hard to make myself seem very uninteresting whenever I am in school. None of my usual frivolous motions, none of my bizarre behaviour; I really make an effort to seem as boring as is humanly possible. I cannot help but wonder why I have this defense mechanism; why would I want to make myself seem a lesser man in the eyes of others?
Third thought that comes to mind:
That I am insane, self-deceptive, and naive when I say the following: I genuinely believe that my imagination takes me further than any plane ticket. I hold an honest belief that a novel or a story or a roleplaying session can be a more genuine and fantastic experience than a physical journey; that reading about Egypt is more of an experience than Egypt itself, provided the book is good enough.
Is this me deceiving myself out of fear? Is it just a pathetic wish for control, for being able to see the exotic in the warm, comforting light of the familiar? Am I a creative genius full of imagination, or just a Nowhere Man in my Nowhere Land, afraid to step outside?
Fourth thought that comes to mind:
I wrote this down, and then I erased it again. Suffice to say, it concerns what the Nightflyer wrote about change, and that I would love to share this thought with you - yet I dare not put it in print. Perhaps we can talk about it.
These are my Four Thoughts for this night. Tomorrow, we shall play Hunter at Da-Ryun's apartment. On Sunday, I shall study and catch up on my combinatorics.
Right now, I shall look at pictures of naked women for a while.
(SHOCK ENDING)
6 kommentarer:
We can talk whenever
What I think is even more interesting about women watching porn is that when I actually talk to women about it, it seems to boil down to either watching naked women or guy-on-guy. I wonder why?
I didn't read this until I've actually already been at your place... or I would have loved to talk about it. Come here? :)
So wait - the paradox here is actually that women can talk to one another freely about pornography, despite how it's common knowledge that every given guy watches pornography? That seems highly counterintuitive.
I think that the traveling thing is very personal. Some people live more in the "sensory" world and others in the "imaginary" world. I am one of the former and no matter how hard I try I never manage to get as intense sensations from reading, role-playing or fantasising as I do from things I can see, touch, smell and hear.
Haha, no porn for me, cuz I've only public internet and no privacy.
About your third thought...I myself get immense personal satisfaction from fiction and fantasy, but as I've written on my own blog - there's a part of me that simply has the need for new, physical experiences.
This is because I know there's so much in the world that I could never imagine or read about in a million years. Some things can't be found in books - and if they can, they'd be a poor substitute for the real thing.
And waagh, what's your fourth thought?
Then I bet there's porn involved during permissions. Most people of the male species find a way to squeeze it in *somewhere*, is my experience.
As for the world: I think sloth and fear intermingle with how jaded I have become from all the travelling my family did. I should try travelling all by myself, or with someone I can relate to - you for example - and I might change my mind. Now, though, I really feel that the effort isn't worth it - but I suspect I'm wrong, and I'd love to be proven wrong.
The fourth thought, well - you're gonna have to call me to figure that one out.
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