It's been a long, long time...

It never seems to end. I don't know if I want it to end, or how it would end, or if there is such a thing as a happy ending.

I'm tired. I'm so tired, and so consumed by all these feelings that aren't really feelings, they tell me, but they seem so real I can't help but believe it. It's like my very blood was about to be torn through my skin. She's so indecisive. I can't really help her; I only want to get away, only want to stay with her, but she's consumed by ambition.

I love her.

I love him, too. My father, my flesh and my blood and my family. And yet... I keep confusing responsibility and love, and I want to flee from both, because love is a cruel master, much worse than responsibility. All I want is to forget.

And she keeps reminding me.